I never expected to see financial abuse firsthand in my professional life, but I have, more than once. These experiences remind me that financial abuse isn’t just a theoretical risk; it’s a lived reality for many people, often hidden behind closed doors and polite conversations. For me, as someone privileged to be an advisor for you, my clients, recognising and discussing these warning signs is a responsibility I take seriously.
Who it affects and why we need to talk about it
Financial abuse doesn’t discriminate. It can affect anyone, regardless of gender, age, background, wealth, or perceived sophistication. I’ve seen it happen in young couples just starting out, long-married retirees, business partners, and multi-generational families. Too often, shame and confusion prevent people from speaking up or reaching out.
What Is Financial Abuse?
Financial abuse is a form of control and manipulation where someone restricts or exploits another person’s access to money, assets, or financial information. It’s about power and fear as much as dollars and cents.
Some common examples:
- Restricting access to bank accounts or cards
- Forcing someone to sign finance documents
- Monitoring or micro-managing every dollar spent
- Running up debts in the victim’s name
- Taking control of salary, pensions, or Centrelink payments
- Cutting off the ability to work or access employment
- Making secret withdrawals or large transfers from joint accounts
- Misusing powers of attorney, or coercing changes to wills and beneficiaries
Financial abuse often goes hand in hand with emotional, psychological, or even physical abuse, although sometimes it’s the only form of control present, making it even harder to identify and confront.
The Subtle Warning Signs: What I’ve Learned to Look For
As an accountant, I’m often in a unique position to notice red flags. Here are some warning signs that I’ve learned to watch for—sometimes subtle, but together, they can point to a much bigger problem:
- Unexplained or sudden changes in account ownership, especially joint accounts switched to one name
- Unaccounted withdrawals or large, suspicious transactions
- Clients suddenly unable to access online banking, with “lost passwords” or blocked devices
- Frequent requests for money transfers that don’t match the client’s history or needs
- Conversations dominated by a partner or third party, with the client left in the background
- Reluctance or fear in discussing money, or visible anxiety around financial meetings
- Forgotten, unpaid bills despite apparent solvency
If any of this sounds familiar or if you simply feel uneasy about your financial situation, please know you’re not alone, and you have options.
Why People Don’t Notice or Speak Up
Here’s what I’ve learned from real stories:
People experiencing financial abuse can feel embarrassed, confused, or powerless to change things. Sometimes the abuse is gradual, cloaked in “helpful” management of household budgets or “protecting you from yourself.” Sometimes it starts as love-bombing and support, only to morph into tight control over every cent. Abusers may use guilt, threats, or emotional pressure to keep their victims silent and dependent. Many people doubt whether what’s happening “counts” as abuse.
Let me be clear: if someone is controlling your access to your own resources, that’s not partnership—that’s abuse!
Case Study 1:
Tania trusted her partner, Chris, to manage their shared finances. At first, it seemed efficient. But, over time, Chris insisted all her wages be paid into his account, criticised her spending, and gave her an allowance that didn’t cover basic needs. When she questioned things, he became angry, apologised, then convinced her to sign loans in her name. Now, Tania is left with financial commitments and no real control.
Case Study 2:
Margaret, in her late seventies, trusted her son to help with her finances after her husband’s passing. At first, he organised bills and helped with banking. However, things changed quietly: he started “borrowing” money and making withdrawals for himself, convincing Margaret it was just a temporary arrangement. He pressured her to give him access to her online banking and even persuaded her to change her Will. Margaret felt torn between family loyalty and mounting anxiety about her diminishing savings.
Red Flags in Elder Financial Abuse:
- Changes in power of attorney or banking authorities without explanation
- Large or frequent unexplained withdrawals from accounts
- Sudden changes in wills, beneficiaries, or financial plans
- Older clients appearing anxious, withdrawn, or less confident about their money
- Adult children or caregivers isolating the client from other family or advisors
What Makes Elder Financial Abuse So Dangerous?
- Secrecy and Shame: Victims may be embarrassed or feel guilty for “letting it happen,” or they may want to protect their relationship with their family member.
- Isolation: Abusers commonly limit contact with friends, other relatives, or trusted advisers.
- Rapid Financial Loss: Because older people often have retirement savings, losses can be rapid and devastating.
What Can You Do? Practical Steps
If you suspect financial abuse for yourself or someone you care about, here’s what I recommend:
- Keep a record: Document suspicious transactions, conversations, or changes in financial arrangements.
- Seek secure advice: Contact someone you trust (a friend, professional, or support service). As your advisers, we are always here for confidential discussions.
- Don’t confront an abuser alone: Personal safety comes first. In immediate danger? Call 000.
- Contact support services: Consider reaching out to specialised services like 1800RESPECT or the National Debt Helpline, who can offer guidance and assistance tailored to your situation.
If you’re worried, please speak out
If you’re worried about a partner, child, carer, or colleague taking advantage of you financially, please reach out to your accountant for a confidential discussion.
- Resources and Support Lines
1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 (24/7, confidential counselling) - National Debt Helpline: 1800 007 007
- Women’s Legal Services, Men’s Referral Service, Relationships Australia
- Bank or financial provider: Most have trained staff ready to support clients facing financial abuse.
You’re not alone. If you or a loved one needs to talk or make an action plan, please know we are here to help—confidentially, compassionately, and without obligation.
Financial abuse is real, insidious, and far more common than we like to admit. At Freshwater Tax, we are committed to helping you recognise, resist, and—if needed—escape its grip, so you can live and thrive in financial safety and independence.
